Kindergarten Woes

No, it's not Joshua having woes about kindergarten. I am desperately sad to send him off to school!!!! Has anyone else had this problem??? Every time I think about sending him to school, I have this overwhelming feeling of guilt: That I am the absolute worst mom in the world because I'm sending my child away when I am perfectly capable of teaching him here at home! Of course, I had planned on homeschooling the kids if we had stayed in Virginia (or at least the states...), but had decided that if Devin got this job that I would let them go to school since we would have access to some pretty fantastic international and private schools. So I don't know why I'm having all these struggles. I guess mostly I'll just really miss the little guy. I keep thinking that no one will be able to teach and take care of him like I can. I also know that he can sometimes be ...uhm... quite the handful. I'm worried that someone will make some comment on his boisterous nature and I'll get rather defensive. And then, what if the other kids are mean to him? I don't know that I could handle that, either. And what if he picks up mean stuff from the other kids at school? Or, worse yet, what if he likes it so much there that he doesn't ever want to come home? I just feel like sending him to school is going to rip this big hole in my chest, and I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. Although, I suppose it's better to start getting it over with now, than to delay it until he's ready for college or a mission. Is this a little of what it feels like to have your kids leave home??? Josh was helping me pick out some of his new school clothes online Saturday, and that was fun. He picked out his own shirts to wear. He didn't do half bad, either! :) Gotta love Old Navy--they have a nice back-to-school sale right now, and it's $7 shipping for as much as you want!! (We even got Devin some new shirts!) He just kept saying how excited he was to start school, and how he was going to take a bus there, and have a lunch and everything. It made me want to cry! Is this normal? Am I just being over protective and overly sensitive or is this really what every mom feels like when she sends her first baby off to school? I keep thinking I should be feeling relief that he'll be with other kids his age and learning fun things (well, it'll probably be an entire year of review for him...but he'll enjoy it anyway because it will be different than the way I've presented it) and doing activities that will keep him occupied and entertained and interacting with other people...that I'll have time now to focus on teaching Claire the same things that I taught him, and be able to have some nice one on one time with her... but I don't feel any relief. I just feel uptight and sad. Does it ever go away?