Catastrophe

My mom is a catastrophic thinker. She admits it. She is always afraid that the worst will happen. Unfortunately, she passed that on to me. I remember many times when Devin would come home late and not call, I would have myself so worked up that he must have died or some other terrible tragedy, that I would be this massive purple puddle on the floor and already have a plan as to what I would do if the police showed up at my door with the bad news. Devin now calls.

Luckily, I have shed a lot of that. I really don't catastrophize as much as I used to, but I must say we will die a lot... Lately, Josh turns everything into death.

Here are some recent examples:

Claire was pulling on my ring as I was explaining the symbolism of a wedding ring. She kept saying, "Look! I can't break it!" I asked her to stop, as she was hurting my finger. And Josh pipes up and says, "Yah! Then you might break her finger and then she could DIE!"

Claire and Andrew were trying to reach things on the table...mostly by climbing on it. I asked them not to climb on the table and Josh speaks up: "You should get down! Or you might fall! Then you could hit your head on the floor and DIE!"

Claire and Andrew (well, and Josh for that matter) LOVE to jump on the couches. They especially love to jump OFF the couches. I asked them not to, and once again comes the voice of Joshua: "If you jump, you could fall, and then you could DIE!"

Josh and Andrew were on our little teeter-totter, and Andrew got his foot stuck under him once when Josh let him fall fast (Andrew WAS asking him to do it...) I told Josh he probably shouldn't let Andrew free-fall like that. Well, then Josh turns to Andrew and says, "Yah, Andrew. I'm not supposed to let you go fast, because you could fall off and then...you could DIE!"

Here are some more ways we could die according to Josh:

Poking the TV.
Turning on and off the lights quickly.
Plugging things in.
Turning on the projector.
Climbing on the bookshelves (although, with the combined weight of the massive amounts of books we have, and the African made actual wood bookshelves, I do have to agree with this one!)
Climbing on the counter.
Jumping on your brother. (yah, your mom might kill you)
Slamming the door.
Flushing the toilet while still sitting on it.
Throwing books.

The list continues to grow, and I have to laugh and cry a little every time I hear it. What have I passed on to my son??